We hear it all the time, and people have pretty strong opinions on both fronts: Which has more influence on our budding children…genetics or the environment?
Initially, genes may make a child more naturally friendly and outgoing, or, conversely, quiet, even sullen. Some experts say that genes can create environments, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Parents’ reactions to these gene-based traits can also make a difference in the child’s personality. Our tendency is to interact more with those babies who coo and giggle in response to our silly faces, because those who don’t engage in the looniness simply aren’t as much fun. In addition, parents may respond to them more impatiently or coldly, particularly if they’ve had one of those days.
In a very real sense, a child’s innate disposition does elicit a certain behavior from parents, such as lack of warmth. In these cases, genes have created the environment and can possibly lead to a worse outcome, such as bullying or other social dysfunctions. This, however, is not inevitable, and if parents resist responding to a dour baby or impatient child, any genes that underlie those behaviors may go quiet.
If your baby or child doesn’t seem to be happy much of the time, don’t let that change the environment of your home. When you continue to smile and gurgle at your baby (or toddler, for that matter…they like to gurgle too), and make sure he or she keeps seeing your sweet side, basic personality traits can absolutely take a turn in a more positive direction in time. And the payoff – a better life for both you and your child – is worth every smile.
Amazing, challenging, uplifting observations. You’ve made a huge difference to that Mom who thought she was going quietly, inevitably insane. It’s not her ‘fault’ and she can take action by finding the strength, optimism, joy to lift that child with specific behaviors to counteract a natural melancholy. It will be the greatest investment she can make – a gift to her child, herself, her family, her home.