Parents who have raised kids currently in their 20s, who have now graduated and
are new in the job market, have not necessarily done them any favors if the first part of their lives has been all about the praise, kudos and raising of their self-esteem. Instead of one trophy for the most accomplished/winning person or team, there have to be multiple offerings and congratulations so no one goes away empty handed. Activities are created or exaggerated so each student can feel like he or she has “won.” While intentions may be good, this is not exactly suitable preparation for the real world.
If they’re expecting bosses, clients, co-workers to dole out the compliments as readily as they’re used to receiving them, they’re going to face some pretty big disappointments. Organizations need to be focusing on the job at hand, not making sure its employees have received the requisite number of daily strokes. And employees need to be performing their jobs to the best of their capabilities in return for…the paycheck. Under the headline “This could backfire someday,” some teachers are taking a different tack. At a large university, one professor begins the semester by asking, “How many of your parents raised you by saying you can be anything you want to be?” When most students raise their hands, he then replies, “Do you realize that’s a bunch of baloney?” One high school teacher informs her students that, although their parents have been telling them their entire lives how wonderful they are, they’re the center of the universe, “It’s not true. You’re not the center of the universe. You are, in fact, one of many.”
No one is advocating that we stop admiring and commending our kids for a job well done, but in the working world, praise usually follows achievement (and doesn’t it mean more then anyway?), a foreign concept to the entitled, self-esteem generation that got praise just for existing.
