1. It’s about time they contributed to the cost of their kibble, rather than while away the hours leisurely napping, eating, playing and wee-weeing (not necessarily in that order).
2. Belt Rex into the passenger seat and use the car pool lane.
3. For once you can go through an entire day without wondering if someone is on the sofa who shouldn’t be.
4. You have a 140-pound Rottie and that bully in Accounting that you can’t stand has a prissy little pocket dog…well, ‘nuff said.
5. The dog really did eat your homework, er, past-due report.
6. You are able to immediately spot the sympatico who will let Fifi slobber-kiss – a true dog-lover for sure.  You will file this information away for future use.
7. You’re tired of those accusing where-have-you-been-all-day looks when you get home (even if you only went to the mailbox); now they can see for themselves.
8. It’ll be a great way to meet new friends, lick new faces, sniff new behinds (‘course, you realize we’re talking about the dog here, yes?)
9. You get to finally reap the rewards of all those hours spent training Scooby to sit…and stay.
10. Tinkerbell needs more frequent breaks throughout the day (psssst…that means you get them too!).

So break out your traveling pooper scooper, collapsible water bowl, some puppie snacks and their favorite blankie and off you go.  It’ll be a great workday with your faithful companion by your side!

Today is Let It Go Day (also known as Easier Said than Done Day).  It’s also National Pink Day, Typewriter Patented Day and National Pecan Sandy Day.  Come on – which deserves the kudos?  How does one pick from these gems?  Oh, the pressure!  Speaking of…I believe I just made up my mind.  According to my research, “Resentment, stress and worry can make you feel unwell.  Letting it all go, through positive thought, yoga and meditation, or the realization that in the grand scheme of things whatever ‘it’ is, is not worth worrying about.”

I’ll buy that.  So – here’s what I’m letting go of, starting immediately or sooner:

Stress (hmmm, I’ll try, I really will, unless I stress too much trying not to, er, stress…)

Bangs

Puce (love the color; I’m just not going to call it Puce anymore)

Reality TV (OK, well, can’t exactly say I’m going to as it has irritated and confounded me since Day One, but call it wishful thinking that everyone else will let it go and it’ll disappear!)

Lima beans

Snarky comments (received)

Nosebleed high heels

Zero calorie designer bottled water (how gullible are we?)

Coveting my neighbor’s perfect lawn

Snarky comments (given)

My lifelong crush on Larry King

And last but not least…Scrunchies

OK, wish me luck – now you…share…

Um, say again?  What is, and how exactly do we celebrate, Baby Boomer’s Recognition Day?  To save you grueling hours, I initiated a comprehensive search on the subject.  And since I still have no idea when it started or how the observation manifests itself (resources are conflicted), let’s see what we can come up with, shall we?

First, we need to find them.  Since most sources put Boomers’ age between 47 and 65, you could start at the shuffleboard court, the retirement home or the rocking chair, but you’d probably come up empty.  Boomers are parents and grandparents, working and retired (or a combination of the two), active and relaxing, homebodies and travelers.  That’s the greatest thing about being a Boomer in this generation…there are no rules, no standard protocol.  Even if we’re facing location, physical or financial restrictions, we’ve found a way to move around them and still live our lives on our own terms.

So here’s this Boomer’s idea:  I “recognize” and celebrate all the other amazing Boomers out there…may we keep learning and challenging ourselves, have a ready supply of hugs on hand, treasure friends and family, and laugh at least once a day, yes?  Groovy!

H – is for all the hours of Homework help, and for never once making us feel stupid
A – is for all of our kiddie ‘Artwork’ you so proudly displayed on the fridge
P – is for all the Praise you heaped on us, no matter how big or small the accomplishment
P – is for Paying the bills, so we could just be kids
Y – is for our great back Yard, in which took place some of the best barbecues ever

F – is for being a Friend as often as you were a Father
A – is for pretending to act like an Adult every time Mom got mad catching you being as goofy as we were
T – is for wearing – with a big smile – every single one of those tacky Ties we gave you as presents over the years
H – is for stapling the Hem of my dress that time in the third grade when it ripped and Mom had already left for work
E – is for Eating every bite of our culinary experiments, no matter how many antacids you had to the pop afterwards
R – is for teaching us to Ride a bike – a major rite of passage
S – is for the extraordinary Strength you displayed as you handled life’s ups and downs

D – is for telling us to never give up on our Dreams…anything is possible
A – is for all of the wise, witty and wacky Advice you gave over the years…still fondly remembered
Y – is for the You-and-Me time – we are who we are because of that special bond.

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder
will remain with me forever.
(Author Unknown)

H – is for all the Hootin’ and Hollerin’ you’ve done on our behalf at all our games, whether we won or lost

A – is for the Ambulance you called when we fell out of that tree in the front yard

P – is for not giving up on the Potty Training, which has ended up paying off after all

P – is for all the Parties, birthday and otherwise, you’ve thrown over the years, each one better than the last

Y – is for saying “Yes” as many times as you had to say “No”

M – is for Marrying Dad so we could be here in the first place

O – is for celebrating our Oddities, telling us one day we would appreciate them…and you were right

T – is for Tasting our strained peas so we could see how yummy they were

H – is for the warm and loving Home you provided, a safe place to learn, laugh and grow

E – is for the Eyes in the back of your head that never missed a trick

R – is so we’ll always Remember, thanks to all the pictures you took, ad nauseum, of each memory big or small

S – is for all the bedtime Stories, making even the 82^nd reading sound as fresh as the first

D – is for teaching us to Drive, putting your own life at risk, because you knew eventually you could use this to your advantage

A – is for the other Ambulance you called when we fell out of that same tree a month later

Y – is for not making us quit our Yodeling lessons, even when you had to start self-medicating

Did You Know?  Anna Jarvis is recognized as the Mother of Mothers Day, even though she never married and never had kids.  She was inspired by her desire to honor her own mother.

To the world you might just be one person,

but to one person you might just be the world.

(Author Unknown)

To those of us for whom computers have always been, and always will be, a blessing AND a curse, this will hit the spot…

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry, stating ‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’

General Motors responded with its own press release.

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following attributes:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash…twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, inexplicably, your car would die on the freeway.  You would then be required to pull to the side of the road, close all windows, shut off the car, restart, and reopen windows before you could continue. You would simply accept this procedure without question.
4. Executing a maneuver such as a left turn would sporadically cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you must reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -  but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation’ warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying.
8. At times your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. When all else fails, you would be expected to call Customer Service in a foreign country to receive instructions in the local lingo on how to fix your car yourself.

We did a little digging and found several informative resources stating that where you take the first bite of your Easter bunny apparently speaks volumes about your persona.  Want to discover more about yourself?  Who needs a shrink – read on…

Ears –You know what you want in life and how to get it. Whether it’s chocolate, money, or power, you take what you can get and act quickly. You have energy to spare and often cause anxiety in others due to the sheer force of your determination. You don’t lose sleep over this, though, as you’ve never been one to apologize for who you are.

We’re questioning this characterization, however, as polling results show that over 75% of us begin our delicious journey with the ears. If that’s the case, we’d all be Attila the Hun.

Eyes – You are a very expressive and sensitive person. Connections to people and animals mean a lot to you. You’re adventurous and love to regale others with your stories. An enthusiastic talker, you’re naturally charming and make friends easily. You’re the type most likely to pass out chocolate for Easter.

On the flip side, we’re wondering if it isn’t a bit twisted to start with the eyes of an innocent little bunny that never harmed a ‘hare’ on your head.

Feet – You are logical, rational, consistent, and take big decisions fairly seriously. You can be considered a bit aloof at times, but you’re probably just in analyzing mode. You’re disciplined and don’t let emotions control you. You prefer to be hands on, and are, at times, uncomfortable in large groups and certain social situations.

Tail – You are friendly, optimistic and kind hearted. You don’t have a harsh word for anyone. You’re creative and artistic, and cheerfully live in your own little world. You live your life freely, without guilt or restrictions.

An alternate source supports these conclusions, stating “Take It Easy” is your motto. Rampant ambition is not high your list and you don’t mind ‘working on the bottom’ for spell.

Wherever you begin, may your adventure be sweet.  Happy Easter!

"Create" by Chris Foster (Fine Art)

We’ve heard it before and known it all along, but this is so important it bears repeating – it has been scientifically proven that there’s a reason we go to the store for one item and come back with 12.  Shopping boosts your mood, makes you feel good.  Apparently, “retail therapy” has actual visceral rewards – shopping triggers the release of brain chemicals that bring on that buying high.  And really, who can think of a better drug?

What we didn’t realize before is that it’s partly genetic, i.e., the aforementioned delirious-inducing chemical named dopamine can be hereditary.  It could also have something to do with how much mall schlepping we did with mom and/or dad when we were kids; could have picked up a real flair for the process by watching and learning.

Wherever you formed your inclinations, however you inherited this delicious fixation, allow us to be your supplier, your “pusher,” so to speak.  It’s Spring, the weather is warming up, the flowers are blooming, we’re smiling and doing our little skippy-dances…perfect time to celebrate what is basically a foregone conclusion anyway, right? Enjoy the fruits of our labors!

You can’t swing a used teabag these days without stumbling across a celebrity tea-sipping photo op or famous face jumping on the brew bandwagon and backing or launching his or her own brand (Donald Trump? Ex-squeeze me??).  Therefore, let us take full advantage as well, and offer these expert tips that perfectionists (translation: tea snobs) maintain are the steps to brewing the perfect pot of tea…or, as we call it, Brewing for Dummies:

Large whole leaves are preferred over tiny tea balls, which apparently don’t give the leaves room to unfurl and infuse the water with flavor.  Place about 2 ½ teaspoons of leaves in a large strainer.  To avoid burning the tea leaves, the water should not be boiling hot.  After approximately three minutes (up to seven minutes for more delicate varieties), remove the strainer.  Purists don’t add milk or sugar (sniff), and believe that lemon overpowers the taste of the tea.  Now stick that pinky up in the air and start sipping!

Spiced Bourbon Tea
(A “subtle, exotic” tea cocktail)

1 tea bag, Earl Gray or black tea
2 star anise pods
5 cardamom pods
2 oz. Maker’s Mark or other high-quality bourbon
1 oz. simple syrup
1 orange slice

Place tea bag and spices in a large mug.  Fill with 6 ounces of boiling water.
Steep for 3 to 5 minutes.  Remove tea bag, but leave spices for
another 10 minutes; remove.
Add bourbon and simple syrup.  Stir lightly.
Garnish with orange slice.